Much better day today.  Went to the gym and did a tougher than normal workout.  Felt good to sweat.  Then came home, ate lunch and watched a movie.  Next on the to do list was cleaning the apartment.  It's not that big but it still takes me about 2 hrs.  I saw one of my neighbors walking her dog so I popped out to the front porch to introduce myself.  Then a dog walk.  A good day!  Also got word that settlement went off without a hitch and my house of 20 years now belongs to someone else.  Next chapter!

I've been struggling mentally the last few days.  It's been tough to even get out of bed in the morning because I don't feel like I have anything I have to do - or look forward to.  Finally forced myself to take the dogs out for a walk.  It's a beautiful day - mid 50's, clear skies, and light winds.  I knew that if I took the dogs out for a walk it would help to jump start my attitude.  It worked - a little.  When I got home I changed into cycling clothes and went out for a 30 min ride.  Not much - and it wasn't easy.  I haven't been riding regularly.  But, this is the fastest I ever got back on the bike post procedure - so I guess that's a good thing.

 

I haven't made any meaningful connections here and it's starting to feel very lonely.  It seems like the more time that goes by the more I hole myself up in the apartment.  Not sure of the best way to break out of this funk.  So in the meantime I'm putting one foot in front of the other and not much more.

We are on a quest to find a good church in this area.  And the one we visited this morning was not it.  Wish there were an easier way to find one that's the right fit.  But I think the only way is going to be by visiting on Sunday.

 

We went out for a nice ride today.  This time I picked the route.  It started easy with some long flats and smooth road.  There was one section though that was a lung buster.  Sections of the climb were around a 15% grade.  Can you still hear me gasping?

 

Relaxed for a bit at home.  Fixed us a yummy lunch before Al headed off to work.  I used the sauce from a brisket I braised earlier in the week.  It consisted of tomatoes, celery, garlic, carrots and onion.  I simmered the leftover sauce with some Italian sausage and served it over pasta.  Very good after the ride.

 

Dogs and I went to the dog park.  The place is huge and at one time there must have been about 25 dogs there.  I've never seem the two of them run so much.  Preda thinks she's such a tough girl.  She tried mixing it up with some of the bigger dogs.  She seems to know enough to stay just out of reach and then waits for the opportune moment to lunge in and give a nip.  She loves chasing other dogs.  There were two whippets who thought they were pretty speedy.  Preda chased them down and then tripped them up.  One of the whippets was mostly white and that poor girl went home covered in grass stains thanks to Preda.  Augie made all kinds of friends - both human and canine.  He's such a lovable and gentle boy.  I was proud of both of them - they played hard and behaved well.

 

I finsihed off the day the best way ever...hot chocolate by the fire.  Great day.

Everyone back home knew about my health situation and I was very open with what was going on.   But I'm not sure how I want to handle things here.  It's kind of nice to talk to new people and be "normal".  I like that we talk about "normal" stuff - where's a good bike route, have you visited a great restaurant, etc.  I like keeping the cancer stuff under wraps for now.  I hate the look on a person's face when they first hear about it.  "Oh, that's terrible, I'm sorry.....",   I hear it over and over again.  It would be so much better if someone just said "oh that sucks!", and then moved on with the conversation.   So for now, I'm not going to be cancer girl.

I've been having fun cooking in my new kitchen.

 

Sunday:  brisket braised in a sauce of crushed tomatoes, garlic, and onion served with mashed potatoes

Monday:  chicken with dill dumplings

Tuesday am:  hash made with leftover brisket, potatoes, apples, onion and red pepper

 

I used recipes out of the current issue of Gourmet Magazine.  Unfortunately the magazine is being cancelled due to not enough advertisers.  Where will I get my inspiration?

Fun day today.  Started with a repeat visit to the dog park.  Next stop was the library to get a lending card.  Last stop was LAFitness where I got a membership and did a light workout.  Then home and made a yummy dinner - chicken and dumplings!

Went out for a few more errands today.  First stop was the recycling center.  We have a ton of flattened boxes and packing paper to get ride of plus the standard bottles and cans.  I went to the drop off center but only saw one bin.  Apparently everything goes in the same bin and is sorted later.  Doesn't get much easier than that.   Next stop was the library.  It was really busy when I got there and the parking lot was almost full.  Looks like some kids had a birthday party there - how cool is that.  I think the overly commercial/expensive kids parties seem to send the wrong message.  Also noticed that the library has a drive up book return.  Can't make it much easier than that.  And did I mention both of theses places were about 5 minutes from home?

Had a quiet day today and didn't feel like unpacking any more boxes.  It was time to finally visit one of the local dog parks.  There are a bunch within driving distance and I decided to go to the closest one today.  It is a "seasonal" dog park and I wasn't sure what time of year was dog park season.  I got lost going there, pulled out my map book and got back on track.  It's only about 5 miles from the apartment.  When we arrived I saw signs that it was closed.  It's located at a township park so we walked around to see what it looked like.  There were some nice walking trails and we headed out.  The dog park itself is a nice size and was closed due to muddy conditions.  Guess they didn't want the wreck the turf by having continual foot traffic.  We took a look from outside the fence and it looked fine.  I'm hoping they reopen soon so we don't have to wait until spring.

 

I still had dog park on the brain, so I drove to another one that was about 20 minutes away.  The dog area is included inside a huge park called the Voice of America Park.  There were huge parcels of undevelped areas and lots of soccer and baseball fields.  When we drove into the park the dogs started getting all excited.  How did they know what was coming.  Must be doggy ESP.  The dog park itselt is huge with three seperate fenced in areas where they rotate usage to give the turf a chance to recover.  Three dogs (and their owners) were there when we arrived.  Augie and Preda seemed a little unsure of their non-greyhound playmates.  Augie actually got a little snarly.  Very unusual for him.  My hounds spent most of the time sniffing and peeing.  Preda ran a bit with a dobie.  She's so weird when she runs with other dogs.  She'll go just fast enough to stay even with them and then tries to cut them off.  Must be competitive just like her mom.  The Dobie was running flat out and Preda was easily keeping up with her.  Augie even got in a few running spurts.

 

The more I drive around this area the more I like it.  Streets are well laid out and the landscaping is really nice.  There are tons of shopping centers and that can look ugly sometimes but they've planted all kinds of trees and shrubs and have plenty of grassy areas.  Apparently fountains are pretty popular around here too.  So a good day today!

We are getting settled in our new place.  This development is gorgeous.  Beautiful landscaping and a stand of trees surrounding our building.  What a difference from the city atmosphere we were living in.  The dogs are enjoying frequent walks.  It's a bit of a pain sometimes, but we don't have a fenced in area where we can just open the door and let them out.

Tonight we spent some time at the Cincinnati Zoo.  It was a fundraiser called Zoo Brew that was sponsored by Al's company and Samuel Adams.  Al's crew served smoked chicken wings and pulled pork and Samuel Adams gave out lots of free samples.  We were located in the manatee building.  Lots of exhibits and of course our booth had to be located next to the rattlesnakes.  Kind of creepy.  Also got to see alligators, turtles, fish, snakes, and other cool stuff.  They also broght out live animals.  I got to "pet" a baby alligator and a two toed sloth.  Pretty cool!

What happened to my lazy and relaxed days?  Don't think I'll have any of those for a while.

 

Yesterday was an emotional rollercoaster.  Started out by heading up to Hershey for my last PA infusion appt.  Checked in and they took some blood.  I usually have to wait and hour or two until they are ready for me so I headed outside to enjoy the sunshine.  I noticed that I had a few voice mails so I started returning calls.  First call was the realtor - they had an offer for me and I prepared mentally for how I wanted to counter.  Then I called Al and a friend to get their advice as well.  about an hour later I was done with all my calls and headed to get something to eat.  After lunch i had a few more voice mails and text messages.  The offer was rescinded - WTF???  But I was expecting another offer later in the evening.  Movers called to confirm pack up and loading dates (Thursday nd Friday of this week) but couldn't confirm a delivery date.  It would be somewhere between Monday and Thursday of next week?  I guess I can manage, but it won"t be easy.  Then went back into the clinic for my infusion and said my goodbyes.  On the way home the movers called again to confirm schedule and I asked the driver about delivery.  He said Monday should be fine but he couldn't confirm until Thursday.

 

Realtors stopped by with another offer.  I thought it might be good news because they both were smiling.  And it was - I was happy to sign the agreement   I had hoped that I would at least have an agreement of sale before I moved!

 

Today was my last day to get organized.  Tomorrow the movers come to pack and then load the truck on Friday.

What a nice weekend!!!  My move is about a week away, and my friends came through with flying colors.

 

On Saturday night a bunch of my biker friends hosted a dinner at a local restaurant.  We had about 13 people there and swapped stories.  Consensus is that the "climb every mountain" ride was the toughest yet.  This was a 70 miler that we did in 2006 in preparation for the 100 mile Livestrong ride.  We weren't as fit as we thought and struggled up the rolling hills.  Seemed like there was a new one every time we turned the corner.  And of course they will never let me forget the flat tire incident.  I was tired and cranky and wasn't looking forward to the final 25 miles or so.  I hit a pot hole and got a flat.  Pete quickly changed the tube for me and I started inflating the new tube.  I was a little too "vigorous" and snapped the stem right off the tube.  So they started over but this time I wasn't allowed to touch the pump.  The rest of the ride home was easier than we all expected and we finished smiling.

 

Sunday afternoon brought another gathering.  Joan hosted an open house/farewell party at her place.  Great food.  Great friends.  Great sendoff.  Everyone was so encouraging.  We finished the day by going on a ride.  Felt wonderful to ride outside in the beautiful countryside.

Today I was determined to get a lot done.  First order of business was to put out some of my junk for trash collection.  Doesn't sound like a big deal, but part of the trash is a bunch of 30-40 lb trash bags filled with plaster that came off the basement walls.  The walls were a mess, and I'm having a friend knock out all the old plaster and then put fresh stuff on top of the bare stone walls.  I carried six bags to the curb (from the basement) and that was about all I could manage.  Then I found some other things that I don't know why we kept:  a broken fan, a broken reel lawnmower, etc.

 

Dad and Janet came over around noon and organized/packed Al's shop area.  Al has a ton of stuff - and now it's all in boxes.  Then they moved up to the third floor and disassembled Al's desk and carried the pieces out for trash removal.  I also came across a bunch of his old photos and packed those up.  Quite a few pictures of the kids when they were just little.  It was fun to go through those.

 

We went out to lunch while there was a showing of the house.  I try not to get my hopes up - let's just say I try to remain cautiously optimistic.  The showing went well, so well in fact that they want to stop back on Saturday to see it again.  My realtors warn me that an offer is just the beginning.  Next is an appraisal and an inspection - both of which can offer some unpleasant surprises.  But in the meantime, I'm happy that the house is showing well.  City living is not for everyone, but this house is in great shape, has been completely updated, and is ready for someone to move in without lifting a finger to do repairs or maintenance.

 

Next week it's going to feel really strange to lock the front door for the last time.

I can't believe that moving day is less than two weeks away.  I plan on heading out super early Saturday October 10 and arriving in OH about 12 hours later.  I'm going to drive out with the dogs and plan on stopping every 2 hours or so.  Dad and Janet are going to drive out with me in a seperate vehicle to help me move personal stuff - and help us unpack once the movers arrive.

 

The moving company is stopping by this Wednesday to create an inventory and plan the logistics of the move.  They will probably have everything packed up a few days before I plan on leaving.  I'll stay at dad's if that's the case.  It will be really weird to still be in the area, but not have my stuff.  We are hoping they will deliver our stuff Oct 11 or 12.  Then Al heads out to Atlanta for two days of work meetings. 

 

I feel myself emotionally withdrawing from everyone here.  I guess it's a defense mechanism and my way of preparing  to be away from everyone.  I'm dreading the sad goodbyes. 

Had my first showing of the house this morning.  I was tempted to call the realtor to see how it went.  Next thing I know she's calling me!  Showing went well, they are interested and may make an offer!!  Let's just hope that it's a reasonable one.

 

They are going to fax the offer to Al's office and I am trying to keep my expectations in check.  Even if I accept the offer we have some hurdles to jump.  Next step will be an inspection of the house and then an appraisal.  I've put about $5k into repairs so far and I'm hoping I won't have to do much more.  I'm actually glad I'm not home right now.  I think if I was home I would be a nervous wreck.  Instead I'm a nervous fender bender.

Beautiful day today.  Weather was gorgeous and we drove around quite a bit today.  We even went south of Cinci into Kentucky.  We had a chance to go to our new apartment complex.  The place is really layed out well and the landscaping is beautiful.  The apartment is smaller than I thought it would be - but we'll have a 2 1/2 car garage.  I won't know how to act.  As we walked through the rooms I tried picturing what stuff will go where - what to move to the apartment and what to store.  The next three weeks are going to be a whirlwind!

I flew out to Cincinnati last night.  It's been so nice to be with Al again!!!  We are going to go exploring today.  Al is going to show me around our new neighborhood.  Tomorrow I will meet with an oncology group to see if they are a good fit for me.

Feels like things are coming together.

 

I wanted to get some repairs done to my house before it was listed.  The rain last week postponed a lot of that activity.  However, the roofer is here today and should be done tomorrow, another contracter is coming next week to work on the basement, finally!!!   And the best part is that I'm looking forward to flying out to Cincinnati on Wednesday to spend a few days with Al.

 

I tried to get some friends to watch the dogs while I'm gone but it just wasn't working out.  Called a kennel today and they have room for my two hounds.  I got a referral while I was at the dog park yesterday and this place has a good reputation.  So I'll drop off the pups Tuesday and then pick them up the following Tuesday. 

I've had this house since February 1989 - hard to believe 20 years have gone by.  Al and I have talked about the possiblity of moving for the last few years, but it was always a theoritcal discussion.  Earlier this summer I had the feeling that he would be promoted soon.  Then in late July he was made an offer and they asked him to start August 17.  He moved to OH last month and I am still here to sort through our stuff, get some repairs completed on the house and list it with a realtor.  Moving day looks like it will be October 10 - less than one month away.  A part of me wants the time to go slow so I can stay in my comfort zone, but a bigger part of me is looking forward to the  change.  Living apart from Al has been tougher than I expected, so I am really looking forward to being with him again.

 

I've been looking on the internet for the important stuff:  where is the local bike club, bike shops, is there a local greyhound rescue (yes), and today I found a dog parlk.  Get this - it's called Wiggly Field Dog Park - and it's only about 10 miles from our new address.

Al has been working towards a promotion the last 2 years and it finally happened.  He was offered a position - in Cincinatti OH.  He accepted and starts August 18.  Now it's up to me to sort through all our stuff, pack and get the house sold.  Thankfully his company is paying for the movers (including packing) but I feel like I need to go through everything to purge out the unnecessary stuff.  What to trash, what to recylce, what to sell and then finally what's worth moving.  I'm going to a flea market this Saturday to try to sell some stuff and whatever doesn't sell will be donated to Goodwill or Salvation Army.

 

I'm stressing about the house sale stuff.  There are repairs we need to complete and other details that need to get done.  And of course the selling price is not what it was a year ago.  Hopefully we'll at least breakeven.

My stomache has been bothering me the last three weeks.  Most of the pain is in my upper abdomen.  Some days it's just a steady ache, other days its more of a stabbing pain.  Almost feels like a muscle cramp or spasm.  For the last week I just layed around because I felt so lousy.  The chronic pain was really starting to wear on me and I almost had a meltdown yesterday.  Forced myself to go out and run some errands and still hurt.  So I took some pain meds and took a nap.  Thankfully I felt better when I woke up about 30 min later.

 

With all this laying around it feels like my fitness (and muscles) are just melting away.  I miss being able to go out for long, tough rides.  It's even more frustrating when I think about how long it will take to regain endurance.  Finally came to the conclusion that the only way I can rebuild muscle and fitness is to go out to do something.  Most of you know that I tend to be an "all or nothing" kind of person, and my response this time around is consistent with that train of thought.  I felt better this morning so I took the dogs for a walk, went out for a short ride and then repeated that again in the evening.  I don't feel like I can handle a ride over 15 miles right now, so I split things up into two rides and totaled about 20 miles for the day.  Nothing huge, but it's a good start in the right direction.

 

Tomorrow I plan on getting up early and going for a short ride.  Then on to my local doc for a blood test.  Next stop is the infusion room at Hershey for Zometa and I should be home by 2:00 and plan to go for another short ride.  Feels good to be physically active again.